*** Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And a week later you have to buy more.**
*** A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there..**
*** It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.**
*** When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?**
*** Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.**
*** It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and pee in the woods while performing brain surgery.**
*** A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.**
*** Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.**
*** That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.**
*** If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.**
*** If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.**
*** Golf appeals to the child in all of us. . . This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.**
*** It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.**
*** A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.**
*** If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.**
